When was the last time someone asked how you were doing—and you answered without immediately talking about your kids?
Parenting has a way of putting us at the bottom of our own list.
There are lunches to pack, appointments to remember, activities to get to, school emails to answer, work deadlines, laundry that somehow never ends, and the everyday job of keeping a family moving.
We’re constantly thinking about what our kids need.
But somewhere in the middle of taking care of everyone else, it can become surprisingly easy to stop checking in with ourselves.
Taking Care of Yourself Shouldn’t Become Another Thing on Your To-Do List
Parents hear about “self-care” all the time.
Get enough sleep. Exercise. Make time for yourself. Go out with friends. Take a break.
They’re all great suggestions—until self-care starts feeling like one more thing you’re supposed to accomplish in an already packed week.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to mean finding hours of free time you don’t have.
Sometimes it’s drinking your coffee while it’s still hot.
It’s sitting quietly for five minutes before moving on to the next thing.
It’s saying no because your week is already full.
It’s laughing with a friend.
It’s doing something simply because you enjoy it, not because it’s productive or because someone else needs it.
Sometimes it’s just remembering that you’re a person outside of everything you do for everyone else.
You Weren’t Meant to Do All of This Alone
One of the most important parts of taking care of ourselves as parents is having other people around us.
Your village might be family. It might be friends, neighbors, other parents, or people you’ve met because your kids happened to end up in the same place at the same time.
Sometimes making space for yourself doesn’t mean getting away from your family at all.
It can mean having coffee with another parent while your kids play.
Sending the text that says, “Today was a lot.”
Letting someone help instead of automatically saying, “I’ve got it.”
Having an adult conversation where you get to talk about something other than schedules and responsibilities.
Finding people who remind you that you’re not the only one figuring this out as you go.
Connection matters.
And so does having people who ask how you are doing—and actually want to hear the answer.
Your Kids Don’t Need a Perfect Parent
There is so much pressure in parenting to get everything right.
Did I handle that situation correctly?
Am I spending enough time with them?
Should they be doing another activity?
Am I too strict? Not strict enough?
Am I doing enough?
Social media doesn’t exactly make this easier. We’re constantly seeing snapshots of other families—the vacations, activities, birthday parties, milestones, perfectly planned experiences, and smiling children.
But parenting isn’t a highlight reel.
There are hard mornings. There are nights when everyone is exhausted. There are moments we wish we’d handled differently.
Being a good parent doesn’t require being a perfect one.
Sometimes the Parenting Load Is Even Bigger
Every family has challenges. But sometimes parenting includes responsibilities you never imagined would become part of your everyday life.
Your calendar may include more than school and activities. It might also include specialists, therapies, IEP meetings, medical appointments, medication changes, or advocating for your child’s needs.
You may be raising a child with a disability, chronic illness, medical complexity, rare disease, ADHD, autism, or other additional needs.
Or your family may have been formed through foster care or adoption, bringing its own layers of trauma, attachment, advocacy, birth-family relationships, and questions that don’t always have simple answers.
When your child needs so much from you, making space for yourself can feel especially difficult.
There is always something—or someone—who seems to need your attention more.
But your needs don’t stop mattering because your child’s needs are significant.
Sometimes Your Village Includes Support Just for You
Making space for yourself doesn’t mean taking something away from your children.
It can mean recognizing when you’re overwhelmed.
Setting a boundary.
Accepting help.
Making plans with someone who fills your cup.
Finding a community where you feel understood.
Or simply acknowledging, “I’m carrying a lot right now.”
And sometimes your village can include therapy.
Therapy doesn’t have to be something you turn to only when you’re in crisis. It can simply be one place in your week where you don’t have to be the organizer, advocate, problem-solver, decision-maker, or person holding everything together.
For once, someone gets to ask how you’re doing.
A Place Where You Don’t Have to Explain Your World
I’m Diana Gelfand, LCSW, owner of DLG Therapy. I spent years working alongside children and families in child welfare and pediatric healthcare, and I’m also a foster and adoptive mom.
Today, my practice focuses on supporting parents and caregivers, particularly those raising children with medical complexity, rare diseases, disabilities and special needs, as well as foster and adoptive families.
I also support individuals navigating caregiver burnout, anxiety, grief, and the unexpected turns that family life can take.
Sometimes having the right support means finding a place where you don’t have to spend half the conversation explaining why you’re tired, worried, overwhelmed, or carrying so much.
A place where you don’t have to explain your world.
Because the person taking care of everyone else deserves support, connection, and a village, too.
Parents, you matter too.
